When Hawkeye Goes Away
by Keliza
Summary: When Hawkeye goes away, lots of people miss him, specifically BJ and Margaret. How do they deal with gap he leaves? Like this. Not SO out of character i think. Please RR!


A new story brain wave emanating from a random place. I know this seems silly, but think about it. Think of all those moments. It's there folks, if you look. Enjoy and please read and review. Thank you!  
  
WHEN HAWKEYE GOES AWAY  
  
By Keliza  
  
If only they knew. The enlisted men stand in the officer's club making lewd jokes about Major Houlihan and Major Winchester. Ha, as if she ever would! In this kind of environment, people seize on every dash of innuendo, because it's something interesting to occupy the mind. But nobody ever suspects. I am BJ Hunnicutt, camp fidelity champion; nobody could ever entertain for a second that I am unfaithful to my beloved Peg.  
  
It's strange that I don't consider it as being unfaithful. I still love her, so very much. But I suppose Margaret has helped me to see that you can sleep with somebody else and remain faithful in your heart.  
  
The first time it happened was when Hawkeye was seconded to the 8063rd for a few days. When I think about it, it strikes me as only slightly odd that it is the love of two people for one individual that brings them together. I always miss him so badly when he's away; the entire camp takes on a different identity and has a whole different atmosphere. Her heart has been broken enough by Lt. Col. Penobscott, she clings to Hawk's routine flirting, I think, as some kind of affirmation that it isn't her. I don't delude myself that this is a relationship, therefore I am not cheating on Peg and Margaret is not cheating on Donald. Not that the scoundrel wouldn't deserve a taste of his own medicine; I still care for this woman as a friend.  
  
We had pulled a long Post-Op duty together. It had been made tougher by Hawkeye's absence. For all the jokes that we pull, both of us work damn hard and without his input, I was admittedly stretched. I invited Margaret over to the Swamp, mostly for my own company, but also because I sensed that she was feeling the loneliness as well. We drank. We drank all night til the still was dry. Soon after I arrive at the 4077th, I realised that this was more or less the only way to remain something approaching sane here. And we talked. We talked about the war, about our families, about our spouses and about Hawkeye. The man had only been goe for two days and already I felt a gap.  
  
Somehow, due to a fatal mixture of alcohol and depression, we ended up crying on each other's shoulders. A nice shoulder it was too. So there we were; two friends united in their loneliness and feeling the need for human contact. We went to her tent when the drink in mine ran out. I don't regret it, I don't, because it was exactly what both of us needed. To feel needed.  
  
You know that awkwardness felt when you wake up next to a one night stand? There wasn't any of it. There was no ' what now?', no 'what does this mean?' and neither of us apologised. I walked out of her tent at 7am into an already bustling compound. If anybody had doe the same rumours would be all over the camp in a flash. But nobody blinked. So, we got on with our job, just as before.  
  
It was a long shift that day. By the time Hawkeye's jeep drove into the camp we were dead on our feet but even through my weariness, I felt a sense of relief. A sense that everything was as it should be again; the swamp rats reunited, and us three friends laughing and drinking together once more while Charles looks on disapprovingly.  
  
I was amazed at how much I could get away with with her. I could touch her hand without fear of comment or refusal, I could hug her with having worry about mutterings around the camp, and we could act like friends around each other. We could be just that, as long as Hawkeye was there. It is so reassuring to know that somebody else can understand EXACTLY what you are feeling and to know that you never need be alone in that. Everytime he left us,even for the shortest time, we would turn to each other again.  
  
I am not cheating on my wife. This is not a relationship. This is two friends supporting each other. I do not love her. I love Peg. She does not love me. She loves Hawk. And if it were any different, this would not work. 


End file.
